


Mad Scientist Assistant Program

by DrakeBorn



Series: Assistant to the Mad Scientists [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Culver University, F/M, Fluff, Mad Scientist Roster, SCIENCE!, Science Bros, very little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:23:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrakeBorn/pseuds/DrakeBorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prologue.  Notorious for having an actual Mad Scientist Roster, Culver University in an attempt to lessen the number of random lab accidents and near fatal science experiments produced by the institution, decided to cultivate those students with the aptitude for babysitting mad scientists as part of a work-study program.  This was how a certain intern, Darcy Lewis, ended up being on site in New Mexico for the touch down landing of one Norse God, Thor.</p>
<p>Jane was not Darcy's first Mad Scientist.  But Jane and the experiences that followed have been the most fun.  But who else is on Culver University's Mad Scientist Roster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mad Scientist Assistant Program

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting. I have not gotten all of the formatting kinks worked out. I promise that I will do better.

 

 

 

> **Culver University Mad Scientist Assistant Training Program**
> 
> Step 1, Complete a battery of multiple choice psych questionnaires.
> 
> Step 2, Complete a second round of multiple choice psych questionnaires.
> 
> Step 3, Interview for approval into requisite Care and Feeding of Mad Scientist 101, course. If selected, the university will waive course fees. Additional courses to follow by administration approval only.
> 
> Step 4, Complete psych evaluation prior to completion of the course.
> 
> Note: You do not start receiving monetary compensation for your work until after you have completed your first semester assisting your assigned Mad Scientist.
> 
> 2nd Note: You are not required to have a scientific background, though it usually helps.

 

Darcy Lewis completed their damned battery of questions many times over again. She had also been interviewed by the advisory panel, again many times over. Darcy had been through the vetting process enough times, in fact, that she knew each panel member's face, could connect that face with specific areas of concern (read: How best to support and cultivate scientific genius!), point of view of various arguments (read: Support the science, not the person versus support the person, not the science.), and most importantly, remembered which panel member preferred what kind of home baked pastry treat. That last fact had actually scored Darcy more points with the panel members than her own computer tech savvy skills (read: Hacker Genius!), which were considerable though she did say so herself.

Culver University had a rich history of producing scientific genius. In the past fifty or so years, Culver University has been linked to more breakthroughs in medical research, more leaps forward in weapons advancement, and mankind having a better understanding of the universe than any other research university. It has also produced more lab accidents, though some resulting in a change in the understanding of the human brain, and more "mad scientists" than any five universities combined in the United States and Great Brittan. The fact that Darcy could name the top five "Mad Scientists," knew their individual fields of study, and which scientist was linked to what lab accident was a fact that the advisory panel members were more than willing to overlook in exchange for more pastries. (Apparently, the feeding of the scientists was of the utmost importance.)

It should be noted that Darcy Lewis's presence for the touch down landing of a Norse God, Thor, in New Mexico was both an accident; because really, who could have seen that one coming, and extremely intentional. The advisory panel members knew that Dr Jane Foster had the drive to make it onto the university's "Mad Scientist" roster. They were just unsure of how the "incident" would manifest. If you asked Darcy, Dr Foster was still owed one lab accident. And dammit, if Darcy didn't want to be there when it happened. Good times!

Culver University has been and will forever be extremely proprietary of both their mad scientists, "accident" or not, and their trained research assistants. Probably because the university spent a lot of money cultivating each to their highest potential. Darcy's pricetag, though not a quarter of Dr Foster's, was quite hefty. But between SHIELD's scrutiny of certain research grants and Tony Stark's persuasive bankroll, the two member team of "Asgard or Bust," a.k.a. Jane and Darcy, was on it's way to Stark Tower in New York.

 

"No, no, no!" exclaimed Darcy after double checking her multimeter gauge. All of her settings were correct, her leads were properly connected, and the terminals she was taking her reads on showed no signs of corrosion. _So, where was the problem? In the machine itself, dammit!_

"Who was responsible for moving this piece of Frankenstein-ed machinery?" Darcy called to the muscle/agents that were given the dubious task of moving (Read: man-handling) the entirety of the New Mexico lab to New York. Being that Darcy was given use of several agents for the purpose of relocating Jane's lab, she also rangled them into the setup and diagnostic portion as well. Who was Darcy to not utilize good resources when they stumbled into her lab.

Darcy's five man moving team were still unpacking and at the sound of her frustrated voice, froze. Darcy found that action both comical and sad; five highly trained rapid response field agents frozen with apprehension at the sound of her voice. _Yikes!_

Darcy checked her tag on the machine, "Marco, you're up."

Marco winced. Given the body language, Darcy could tell that none of the agents had expected her to remember their names. Darcy was betting that part of the whole same-suit fashion statement had been S.O.P. to keep people from identifying any one particular agent out of the sea of agents. Very men in black psychology.

Well, sucks to be them that they had not planned on Darcy. "Marco," dude still had not moved, "Grab that tablet from the table and come over here already. The sooner we make a dent in this mess, the sooner we break for lunch." Marco finally began moving with the promise of lunch.

"In fact, if I'm able to run diagnostics on half this stuff before lunch time, we'll break early. Also, lab's treat." _That should help boost morale a little._ And yes, a few of the agents did noticeably relax. _Next relocation, the coffee machine is the unpacking priority._

Marco made it over to Darcy's location, dutifully handing her the tablet she had asked for. Before moving to give Marco room to work, Darcy pulled up the Power Point checklist for the machine that had so rudely decided not to function. The machine in question had been setup on it's assigned work table so Darcy did not have to worry too much about Marco's tallish frame being cramped. Vacating her seat, Darcy maneuvered Marco to take her spot and readjusted the work light for him. She handed Marco the tablet showing, with a full spread of corresponding photos, step by step instructions to check the inside guts of the Frankensteined machine. Marco did not look pleased.

"Dude, now you know how I feel," Darcy relayed. "And no, this is not exactly what I signed up for either." And just to be helpful, Darcy fetched Marco a set of screwdrivers, a notepad, and a pen so he could remove the machine's cover and take notes. _Take the hint, dude._

The rest of the morning went as follows: equipment unpacked and setup by agents, Darcy ran diagnostics, place a post-it with the machine's working status on the outside of the box, set an agent to work with checklist as required. As promised, at 10:30 and with just over half of Jane's lab hardware diagnosed for problems, fixing issues was solely Darcy's headache, Darcy told the agents to find a stopping point and to come up with lunch options.

Darcy did not care much about what the agents decided to do for lunch. She would endorse it regardless. And surprise, surprise the agents decided on, wait for it, pizza. _Okay, this better be one fantastic pizza._ Thankfully, the agents decided on delivery. Not so Darcy could keep working them. On the contrary, the agents had been quite efficient, with the one exception being Marco. He did seem to take Darcy's attitude of proactive maintenance rather personally. _Tough_ , thought Darcy.

Darcy knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the very first thing Jane was going to do upon entering the new lab was run a diagnostic functions check on all of their equipment. Darcy also knew that if any of the equipment failed that diagnostic run, Jane would insist on performing all of the maintenance work herself putting them even further behind their already hindered schedule. So, Marco was just going to have to suck it up.

Darcy watched as Steven walked over to her with a sheet of notebook paper. Darcy looked over the short order, two large pizzas for five guys who, even with Marco, had been busting ass getting the lab ready for the returning Jane.

"What, no breadsticks, no soda, only two pies?" Never doubt Darcy's love for the help. "Are you guys on a diet I should be aware of?" Darcy made sure to look Steven in the eye.

When Steven did not answer right away Darcy continued, "Look, whatever time you guys are knocking off work aside, I'll be here pretty late tonight working all of the kinks out of the hardware. My plan is to be snacking on a couple of pies by myself for the rest of the day. My food aside, I budgeted $150 for you guys for lunch today. I don't want to see an order that's anything less than $120."

Darcy paused at the look on Steven's face. "Think tip." Darcy handed the notebook page back to Steven, "I know that this is New York and all, and nothing is cheap in this town, but 120 bucks should get you guys more than two large, no frills pizzas." Steven left, his eyes blinking rapidly as if someone just hit him in the face with an air blower.

Darcy went back to what she was working on to find her own stopping point. Having found it, Darcy tagged her place with a sticky note, made a notation on her own notepad, and moved herself away from the table. Darcy went to her messenger bag, retrieved the billfold holding all of the lab's credit and debit cards and checkbook, took notice of the post-it labeling one card "parts," and extracted the card labeled "food." Audits were things other lab assistants worried about.

Darcy walked the card over to Steven, "Here," she paused for Steven to except the card, "Add two pepperoni, large, one order of breadsticks, and one liter of Dr Pepper to whatever you guys have figured out." Darcy yawned. "I want us to be back to working issues full tilt by 1300 local. Please, wake me when the food gets here."

With that Darcy retreated to the back room where she already had her cot setup. Darcy so needed to sleep. So much so that later she would not even remember lying down.

 

An hour later...

Boom!

Darcy startled herself into a sitting position wondering whereshe laid her taser. _Oh, what fresh hell is this!_ Darcy was disoriented. Not recognizing the room she had apparently fallen asleep in, Darcy decided to wait a moment to figure out in which direction she should move to take cover.

Whack! The door was thrown open.

"Ms Lewis, pizzas' here. And, ah, we need you out here," Steven paused for affect, "Now!" _Damn affective pauses._ _She knew this guy, right?_ Darcy's memory was still asleep on the pillow. _Crap! Maybe she could fake it._   Darcy spotted her taser, _bless it's electric heart,_ on the floor next to her cot.

Darcy picked up her favorite accessory and walked out of the back room, slightly disheveled from sleep, trusty Taser in hand, blinking hard against the light change. _What the unholy hell and why was there pizza? Was one of those her's?_

"Okay, clue me in. Oh, and I'm slightly dissociated right now so be gentle," Darcy said truthfully, because, hell, why lie. The six agents haulted their activities around the pizzas and studied Darcy for a moment.

"Do you know where you are?" One of the guys in suits asked Darcy.

"No." Darcy sat down right where she was at, placing her hand holding the Taser in her lap.

Darcy noticed then that only five guys were in suits, though their jackets were off and their sleeves rolled up. The sixth guy wore some variation of uniformed fitness attire. And damn, dude had nice arms.

After a minute's pause Darcy spoke again. "Still waiting for an explanation."

More silence.

"Guys, my memory will come back. But help a girl out. Tell me about the situation I just walked into." Darcy took measure of each of the six men. "Is one of those pizzas mine?"

The guy who had woken Darcy up spoke, "The five of us are helping you square away the lab equipment. You bought pizza for lunch." Matter of fact and to the point, just the way Darcy liked it.

Then dude turn to the guy in the workout clothes, "Barton followed the pizza in hopes of snagging a slice or three." Barton was cut, _yeah, the arms were not his only nice feature_ , and looked not the least bit guilty of what he was being accused of.

"Barton, do I know you?"

"Darcy, we meet in New Mexico last year," his tone was understanding and the smile that Barton was giving Darcy was familiar.

"New Mexico?" Darcy thought a moment, "Who'd I tase in New Mexico?"

Barton's smile became a smirk, "Thor."

Darcy smiled and raised her chin in pride, "Yes I did."

"Okay Barton, snag from my pizza." Darcy thought for a moment. Darcy took note of the other agents' response to this new information. Apparently, someone neglected to inform the agents of that fact. "Did I get more than one damn pizza this time?"

**Author's Note:**

> Just the first story. Not the last. Ending is a little abrupt, but I am mostly testing the waters to see if this line of plot has any interest.
> 
> Any Avenger plot will be accidental. All story line arches should only be side plots to what is going on in the Avenger 'verse.


End file.
